Warning!
When I am an old geezer,
I shall wear the hip, young, red and white Aloha shirt and whit disco pants
that I "borrowed" from my grandpa's grave.
I shall eat at expensive restaurants with my friends and "forget" my wallet.
In the morning, I shall send my grandchildren off to preschool
with their clothes on backwards and act as if nothing is wrong.
I shall spend the entire day sitting on my porch
and criticizing everybody that passes by, and call kids "HOOLIGANS!"
At night, I shall party until I turn purple,
and then watch my late night show, the Six 'o' clock Morning News.
I shall adjust the tint on my television so all the people look green,
and when someone asks about it, I'll just say: "I like it that way."
I shall climb on top of a building and drop balloons filled with paint.
I shall be so lucky, every time I put a dollar into a soda machine, I would get a prize and yell "I won!"
I shall have a collection of lint balls from my belly button and make earwax candles.
I shall live on top of Mt. Everest and ask my kids to visit every week.
I shall give the advice "A fool and his money are soon parted." for one dollar.
I shall turn off my engine at every stop light,
and always keep my windshield wipers on all the time just so I can keep them "in tune".
I shall call all of my friends clichéd names such as "Sparky",
and finish each sentence with the phrase: "according to the prophecy".
I had better start being an old geezer now
so the shock won't be so great when I really am one.
Warning! When I am an old geezer, I shall do all of these crazy things.
I guess being an old geezer won't be that bad, "according to the prophecy".
Image from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/visbeek/3313926114/ By: Ben