The Essay
ET: Title. EI: Introduction. EO: Outlines. ETop or ETh: TOPIC and THESIS. EPara: Paragraphs.
ET: Title. If your teacher marks "ET," identify which rule you violated:
1. Use imagination. An academic paper needs clarity in its title more than creative writing does. However, there is still room for imagination. Try a metaphor or symbol, or a title that is paradoxical or oxymoronic. You can compromise between fact and imagination by using a subtitle.
BORING: Improvements in Textile Manufacturing During the Industrial Revolution
IMAGINATIVE: Weavers of Gold
SUBTITLE: Weavers of Gold: The Textile Industry in the Industrial Revolution
2. Avoid vague titles and one-word titles. Titles like "Relationships between People" offer little idea of the subject. Titles like "War" or "Religion" give the impression that you plan to say everything about a vast topic. They offer no hint of a stance or attitude. Here are three titles of essays on the Civil Rights movement:
VAGUE: Change in Society VAGUE: Prejudice BETTER: A Divided Nation
EI: Introduction.
If your teacher marks "EI," identify which rule you violated:
1. Avoid overused introductory devices. Examples: "In our society today"; "Webster's defines ____ as"; "Since the beginning of time"; "Throughout history."
2. Avoid statements of obvious fact: "In the world there are many kinds of people."
3. Build up to your main point. Your first paragraph should lead to its main idea. It should not trail off onto subordinate ideas. The introduction is not the place for supporting details.
EPara: Paragraphs. If your teacher marks "EPara," identify which rule you violated:
1. Avoid short paragraphs. They give the impression that the writer has not tied the ideas together. Paragraphs in academic essays should have three sentences at the very least.
2. Provide paragraph breaks. Paragraphs can be too long as well. Readers need paragraph breaks. Even in a narrative, paragraphs should be organized around a central topic.
3. Vary sentence patterns within a paragraph. See Var: unvaried patterns (Part Two).
4. Avoid one-idea, one-example paragraphs. They quickly become monotonous. Expand such paragraphs, either by adding evidence, or by discussing other aspects of the subject.
ETrans: provide effective transitions. Avoid abrupt transitions. Avoid weak, overused phrases: "another example is," "also," "in addition," "secondly." Show the relation of your ideas. Do not make the last sentence of a paragraph the topic sentence of the next paragraph; save it for the next paragraph. The example below is from an essay on Frank O'Connor's story "First Confession":
FIRST DRAFT, WITH WEAK TRANSITIONS:
The first example of a religious teacher is Mrs. Ryan. She teaches religion
every day after school, emphasizing sin and punishment instead of love and charity.
Rarely mentioning heaven, she gives Jackie the impression that "hell had the first
place in her heart" (614). Her idea of making good Christians is to use superstitious
tales and threats of physical pain to terrify impressionable children. The result of her
bad teaching is not surprising: Jackie "was scared to death of confession" (615).
Another example of a religious teacher is the priest.
REVISION, WITH BETTER TRANSITIONS:
Fear is an easy way to motivate children, but it is a poor way to instill a love
of truth and goodness. Mrs. Ryan, who teaches religion every day after school,
emphasizes sin and punishment instead of love and charity. Rarely mentioning
heaven, she gives Jackie the impression that "hell had the first place in her heart"
(614). Her idea of making good Christians is to use superstitious tales and threats of
physical pain to terrify impressionable children. The result of her bad teaching is not
surprising: Jackie "was scared to death of confession" (615).
The priest is a much better teacher, for he understands children. . . .
EC: Provide an effective conclusion, not a rewording of your opening paragraph. Avoid overused phrases ("in conclusion," "to sum up," "finally"). Tie your essay together.
EO: Outlines. If your teacher requires a formal outline, use the form illustrated below:
I.
II.
A.
B.
1.
2.
If you need further divisions, use lower case letters. Do not use subheadings unless you have more than one thing to list. Each item should be a complete sentence. Ask your teacher if there are further instructions. The Keables Guide recommends setting tab stops for each section of .2 or .3 inches (using the Format menu in Microsoft Word). Some word processing programs have outlining features.
Microsoft Word users: Format > Bullets and Numbering > Outline Numbered
If you wish to adjust the setting of your outline form on Microsoft Word, you may need to deactivate the Automatic bulleted lists and Automatic numbered lists, using the following steps:
Microsoft Word users: Tools > AutoCorrect > AutoFormat as you type
ETop or ETh: TOPIC and THESIS. Writing assignments and projects usually begin with a general subject area which the writer must narrow to a specific topic.
Subject area: a general field of study, like genetics, criminal justice, or Japanese history.
Topic: a specific topic to be discussed in an essay.
Thesis: the central argument of an essay; a proposition an author advances and offers to prove or demonstrate. The plural is theses (it rhymes with species).
Thesis statement. Not a part of an essay, but an assignment which your teacher may require in advance of your essay, in order to see if you are making good progress.
Location of the thesis. Readers expect to learn within two paragraphs where an essay is going. A good location is the last sentence of paragraph one, but there is room for variety. Essays may begin, for instance, with a brief anecdote or evidence to clarify the issue to be discussed. Keep the writing situation in mind. For a short assignment or a timed essay, you should get straight to the point.
Composing the thesis. It is usually a mistake to make your thesis the first thing you write. If your topic is complex, your first thought is not likely to do it justice. Be patient. Let your ideas grow while you weigh the evidence. Many a bad essay has been produced by writers who sit down with preconceived ideas that they are determined to prove at all costs.
Rules for topics and theses:
1. A good topic is specific.
TOO BROAD: The influence of sports on society
BETTER (SPECIFIC): Sneaker ads as a mirror of America
2. A thesis is not an announcement of the topic. It should express a stance or attitude.
MECHANICAL: This essay will compare and contrast sneaker ads.
BETTER: Sneaker ads provide a disturbing mirror image of contemporary American values.
3. A thesis is a statement, not a phrase.
WRONG (PHRASE): The failure of gun regulation.
RIGHT (STATEMENT): Attempts to regulate firearms have so far failed to achieve their goals.
4. A thesis is a judgment, not a fact. It must be arguable; there must be room for disagreement.
INAPPROPRIATE: AIDS kills many people. (a fact)
INAPPROPRIATE: Animal abuse is wrong. (too widely accepted to need proof)
BETTER: Some common ways of treating dogs amount to unintentional cruelty.
5. A thesis must be clear and precise.
WRONG (TOO VAGUE): Democracy and communism have similarities and differences.
WRONG (TOO SWEEPING): Gun regulation is a failure.
BETTER: Attempts to regulate firearms have so far failed to achieve their goals.
Theses in essays about literature. Besides observing the rules for topics and theses on the previous page, a good thesis for an essay on literature usually includes two features:
1. An aspect of the work: a theme, character, part, writing technique, or issue.
2. A statement about the meaning or effect of the work, usually pertaining to character or theme. Such a statement is often a generalization about life or some abstract idea.
The most common flaw in student writing is the failure to include the second feature. A list of insights (into, say, symbolism in The Great Gatsby or irony in "A Rose for Emily") is not enough. The thesis must explain why the insights are important and how they advance our understanding of the work as a whole. Features 1 and 2 appear in the following example:
THESIS: In his poem "To Althea, From Prison," Richard Lovelace defines true freedom as a quality of a person's soul.
ASPECT (A THEME): Lovelace's concept of freedom.
STATEMENT ABOUT MEANING: true freedom, Lovelace feels, is a quality of a person's soul.
Exercise: Judge the theses below. Which are the most effective? Which are less effective? Why?
1. Although the main characters in "A & P" and "Araby" have many differences, they are basically similar.
2. In Animal Farm, pigs revolt and take over a farm.
3. The gods play an important role in Homer's Odyssey.
4. In his poem "To His Coy Mistress," Andrew Marvell looks at the theme of time.
5. Mark Twain's use of an innocent narrator in Huckleberry Finn enables him to reveal the hypocrisy of civilization.
6. Robert Frost's poem "Design" uses much symbolism, irony, and rhyme.
7. Through a series of contrasting marriages in Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God, Janie discovers that happiness lies in an unexpected place.
After analyzing these theses, practice writing a sample thesis of your own on a literary work you have read recently.