Effective Diction
Diction is a writer's choice of words. This section makes suggestions to help you choose clear, correct and effective phrasing.
WW: wrong words. If your teacher marks "WW," you have misused a word or used the wrong form of a word. To correct the error, replace the incorrect word or phrase. You may need to use a dictionary or thesaurus. Errors marked "WW" may fall into a number of categories:
WRONG WORD: She is an elegant speaker. Police had to break up the noisy raucous.
RIGHT WORD: She is an eloquent speaker. Police had to break up the noisy ruckus.
WRONG PART OF SPEECH (VERB): They are a dominate team.
RIGHT PART OF SPEECH (ADJECTIVE): They are a dominant team.
WRONG FORM: delicateness hesitance beautifuller RIGHT FORM: delicacy hesitancy more beautiful
NEEDLESS SUFFIX OR PREFIX: self-confident prideful firstly evilness connotate CORRECT FORM OF WORD: confident proud first evil connote
NEEDLESS PARTICIPLE OR GERUND: angered enthused pleasing burying CORRECT ADJECTIVE OR NOUN FORM: angry enthusiastic pleasant burial
INAPPROPRIATE CONNOTATIONS: Their home is decorated with beautiful fake flowers.
BETTER: Their home is decorated with beautiful artificial flowers.
Voc: do not settle for meaningless or lifeless words. Expand your vocabulary. Prefer specific and concrete diction to general and abstract diction, and action verbs to linking verbs.
DRAB VOCABULARY: Nobody liked him because a lot of people were saying bad things.
BETTER: False rumors tarnished his reputation.
LINKING VERBS: My sister is always right. She is an honor student. I am jealous of her.
ACTION VERBS: She never misses a question. She wins academic honors. I envy her.
GENERAL, ABSTRACT: She has negative emotions about her unsuccessful relationships.
SPECIFIC, CONCRETE: Painful memories of betrayed love eat at her insides like an ulcer.
Try an occasional metaphor:
UNIMAGINATIVE DICTION: I cannot fit into the dresses models wear.
METAPHOR: I cannot wedge my body into the dresses models wear.
Id: use proper idioms, especially idiomatic prepositions. Do not guess at the right answer; check the dictionary, or ask someone who is likely to know:
WRONG: insight of persuade me into going symbolic to RIGHT: insight into persuade me to go symbolic of
WRONG: regardless to perspective about guilty for RIGHT: regardless of perspective on guilty of Grammar Tip: Idioms are expressions peculiar to a language which may seem contrary to the rules of grammar or usage. Idioms can be eccentric; one verb might require to while another does not:
The rain made us cancel the game. The rain caused us to cancel the game.
J: avoid jargon and pretentious language. Good users of English do not add to their vocabulary every new expression they hear. They discard expressions that they have outgrown. They listen and read critically, staying alert for abuses of language, like the ones listed below.
PRETENTIOUS: facilitate finalize plethora prevalent transpire BETTER: help finish many common happen
JARGON: ego phobia parameter paranoid traumatized BETTER: pride fear limit worried upset Jargon is technical terminology used outside its specialized field as pretentious substitutes for simple ideas. Jargon comes from many fields:
PSYCHOLOGY: compulsive, delusions of grandeur, dysfunctional, syndrome
POP PSYCHOLOGY: dialoguing, in denial, parenting, quality time, self-esteem
JOURNALISM: viable, worst-case scenario
MATHEMATICS: parameters
Inf: avoid informal diction, slang, and regional expressions. The diction in the examples below fails to do justice to its subjects:
INFORMAL: Zeus gets mad at guys who get cocky
BETTER: Arrogant mortals fall victim to the wrath of Zeus.
INFORMAL: Hitler was really mean.
BETTER: Hitler was cruel.
In the right spots, slang terms can be effective. However, most are vague in meaning; many of them mean little more than "good" or "bad." Moreover, slang is short-lived. Cool and goof off may not yet be out of fashion, but split ("leave"), crash ("sleep") and far out are already dated, and swell and neat-o sound like Leave It to Beaver.
Use regional expressions with care. Some terms familiar in the place where you live may not be familiar to a general audience.
Cont: write out contractions. Although they are appearing more often in formal writing, contractions still give writing an air of informality. In many writing situations it is better to write out the contracted words:
INFORMAL: aren't can't he's she'll PREFERRED: are not cannot he is she will Note that cannot is always spelled as one word in modern standard usage.
Cl: avoid clichés. Trite expressions and ideas undermine readers' confidence in a writer. If you find that a story begins "It was a dark and stormy night" (and that the writer is not making a joke), you may not want to read any further.
CLICHÉS: few and far between, leave no stone unturned, through thick and thin
ACADEMIC CLICHÉS: in our society today, is no exception, play a role in, prime example
POETIC CLICHÉS: crack of dawn, gentle breeze, ruby lips
CLICHÉS FROM FICTION: little did she know, beneath his mild-mannered exterior
Figures of speech can be clichés too. The metaphor "on an emotional roller coaster" once sounded clever, but now it makes thoughtful listeners groan.
TRITE METAPHORS: pillar of strength, turn over a new leaf, a wake-up call
TRITE SIMILES: as cold as ice, as innocent as a lamb, as white as snow
TRITE HYPERBOLES: cost a fortune, starved to death, devastated, incredible
Mixed met: avoid mixed metaphor. Careless use of figures of speech (especially trite ones) produces mixed metaphors, which can be absurd:
Love is the key to success that shrivels on the vine of a stagnant marriage.
She moves with the grace of a finely tuned hunting animal.
She is shutting herself out from moving on.
Keys do not grow on vines, and finely tuned describes a musical instrument or machine, not a hunting animal. One solution is to stick to one metaphor. "She moves with the grace of a greyhound" is still unoriginal, but at least it is not absurd. A better solution is to find an original metaphor.